Try answering these simple questions:

1. Some months have 30 days, some have 31; how many months have 28 days?
2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?
3. If you had only one match and entered a room in which there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a woodburning stove, which would you light first?
4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?
5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?
6. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
7. How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the Ark with him?
8. How far can a dog run into the woods?
9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.
10. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add ten. What is the answer?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?
12. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?
13. I have in my hand only 2 U.S. coins which total 55 cents in value. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
14. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left?
15. Is it legal in California for a man to marry his widow’s sister?

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This is better than saying “I love you”……….

Marty woke up at home with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sat down and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotless, clean.

So was the rest of the house. He took the aspirins and noticed a note on the table,”Honey, breakfast is on the stove; I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

So he went to the kitchen and sure enough there was hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son was also at the table, eating.

Marty asked, “Son, what happened last night?” His son said, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door. ”

Confused, Marty asked, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and! Breakfast is on the table waiting for me?” His son replied,

“Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married!”

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THE SIMPLE FACTS :

• Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world?

• The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

• When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

• On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

• The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

• “I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

• The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.

• It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

• Feb 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

• You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

• Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

• Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

• Cat’s urine glows under a black light. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

• In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

• Babies are born without knee caps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

• Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

• The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

• The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

• Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

• One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers…they saw it as competition.

• You know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

• Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

• There are 2 credit cards for every person in the US.

• The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan.”

• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing

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Here are some Funny Equations. Go figure.

1. SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT
2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.
3. One Chinese gymnast = India’s Gold Medal tally since 1896
4. Sushmita Sen – 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.
5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park.
6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 minute song in Hindi movie.
7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own production company = Kajol
8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum’s favorite serials.
9. Amitabh Bachchan – Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR.
10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan – Talent = Abhishek Bachchan
11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan
12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda
13. 1 person – shirt = Salman Khan
14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt
15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
16. Software Engineer + No Work = Forward

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