Archive for January, 2007

Friendship SMS

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 18th, 2007

On a silent night when friend are few,
I close my eyes and think of you,
A silent night, a silent tear,
A silent wish, that you were here!
Stars have 5 ends, squares have 4 ends,
Triangles have 3 ends, lines have 2 ends,
Life has 1 end, but I hope,
Our friendship has no end!
Although its quite a statement,
Well it happens to be true.
The best friend I ever had,
I am glad to say its YOU!
Smiles ‘n’ Tears, Giggles ‘n’ Laughs,
Late nite calls ‘n’ Cute photographs,
I’ll be right here till the day of my death
Best friends forever till my very last breath!!
The years will come, the years will go,
But with each one I will always know,
Whichever way the road may bend,
You will always be my best friend
When it hurts to look back,
And you are scared to look ahead,
Just look beside you
And I will be there.
I can’t text you roses or fax you my heart,
I’d email you kisses but we’d still be apart
I love you to pieces and just wish you’d see that 
I care for you so much coz you mean the world to me.
Many people will walk in and out of your life
But only true friends will leave foot prints in your heart
. . . . .you left yours in mine
-x-
The recipe of friendship:
1 cup of sharing,
2 cups of caring,
3 cups of forgiveness & hugs.
Mix all of these together to make friends forever.
A friend gives hope when life is low.
A friend is a place where you can go.
A friend is honest.
A friend is true.
A friend is precious.
A friend is you!
A good friend is like a ‘Computer’,
’ENTERS’ your life.
‘SAVES’ you in the heart.
‘FORMATS’ your problems.
’ SHIFTS’ you to opportunity
And never ‘DELETES’ you from the heart
In your darkest hour when your fed up & blue.
Just remember this I’ll always be there for you.
I’m no angel and can’t change your fate.
But I’ll do anything for you coz you are my mate.”
You are a mate with a heart of gold.
How much you mean to me can never be told
You are someone to be talked about so sweet & true.
In a million that’s YOU.
A gun can kill some1.
fire can burn some1.
wind can chill.
anger can rage
till it tears you apart.
but the power of your smile
can heal a frozen heart
There is a gift that gold cannot buy
a blessing thats rare & true.
thats d gift of a wonderful friend
like d friend that I have in you!
Sum1 sum where dreams of your smiles
& whilst thinking of you says life is worthwhile.
so wen your lonely remember its true.
that sum1 sum where is thinking of you.
like a fallen star you fell into my life.
you made me smile wen things weren’t rite.
if hugs were water id send you the see
And sail away 4eva just you and me.
R we friends or r we not.
U told me once but i 4got.
of all d m8s ive eva met
ur d 1 i wont 4get.
& if i die b4 u do
i will go 2 heaven
& wait 4 u!
God in heaven
God above
please protect
the friend i love.
Sent wiv a smile:-)
sealed with a kiss.
i love my friend
whos reading this
xx
A very special m8 of mine.
in my heart all da time.
to c u wiv a happy smile
makes my life feel worthwhile.
warm & carin ur feelins true.
im glad i av a m8 like u!
Life can be hard & not always fun.
But as night brings dark mornin brings sun.
Wen life gets tough & no1 seems 2 care.
Give me a call coz I’ll always b there!
Tiny starz shinin bright
its time 4 me 2 say goodnite.
so close ur eyes & snuggle up tight
im wishin u sweet dreams 2nite!
Uve touched my heart, uve touched my soul.
bcos of u I now feel whole.
U’ll always b my closest friend.
u’ll b in my heart 2 the very end.
Dreams r2b 4goten, reality to b lived.
desires 2b fulfilled & destiny 2b reached.
where it began, where will it end.
friends from da start.friends til da end!
Friends r angels that come from above.
sent by god 4 me 2 luv.
so wen u r lonely sad n blue
remember ill be there for u!

High Tech Marketing Buzzwords – What They Really Mean

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 13th, 2007

High Tech Marketing Buzzwords – What They Really Mean  
NEW – Different color from previous design  
ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with previous design  
EXCLUSIVE – Imported product  
UNMATCHED – Almost as good as the competition  
FOOLPROOF OPERATION – No provision for adjustments  
ADVANCED DESIGN – The advertising agency doesn’t understand it  
IT’S HERE AT LAST! – Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming  
FIELD-TESTED – Manufacturer lacks test equipment  
HIGH ACCURACY – Unit on which all parts fit  
DIRECT SALES ONLY – Factory had big argument with distributor  
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – We finally got one that works  
REVOLUTIONARY – It’s different from our competitors  
BREAKTHROUGH – We finally figured out a way to sell it  
FUTURISTIC – No other reason why it looks the way it does  
DISTINCTIVE – A different shape and color than the others  
MAINTENANCE-FREE – Impossible to fix  
RE-DESIGNED – Previous faults corrected, we hope…  
PERFORMANCE PROVEN – Will operate through the warranty period  
MEETS ALL STANDARDS – Ours, not yours  
BROADCAST QUALITY – Gives a picture and produces noise  
HIGH RELIABILITY – We made it work long enough to ship it  
NEW GENERATION – Old design failed, maybe this one will work  
CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY – You can return it from most airports  
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE – Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way  
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES – We finally got it to fit together  
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED – Manufacturer’s, upon cashing your check  
MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED – Does things we can’t explain

Salary Theorem

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 13th, 2007

Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors.”

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two well known
postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time.

Since:
Knowledge = Power

Then
Knowledge = Work / Time

And
Time = Money

So
Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Chalo kuch aur din sambhal ke dekhte hai

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 13th, 2007

Chalo kuch aur din sambhal ke dekhte hai
Tumhe apne dil me rakh ke dekhte hai

Karar nahin hai humme phir bhi
Kuch din tumse durr rehke dekhte hai

Tum aghar humko bhul gaye., toh kya huwa
Kuch din hum bhi tumhe bhool kar dekhte hai

Har naqsh, har lafz mita diya tumne aghar…
Toh hum bhi tumhari yaado ko mita kar dekhte hai

Miss You SMS

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 13th, 2007

Lamhe judai ke bekarar kerte hain,
Haalat mere mujhe laachar karte hain,
Aankhe meri pad lo kabhi,
Ham khud kaise kahe ki aapse pyaar karte hain.
Mere pyaar ka hisaab jo lagaoge,
To mere pyar ko behisaab paoge,
Paani ke bulbule sa hai mera pyar,
Zara si thes lagi to dhundte rehjaoge.
When u mix rice in milk u call it kheer.
When u mix vinegar in milk u call it paneer..
When u mix a sweet person like me in ur life ..
U call it takdeer.
Yoon to zindagi ki rahoon main log hazar milengay
Hum kya hum say achy hazar milengay
Lekin bhool na jana bhool se bhi hamain
Kyoon k hum kahan apko bar bar milengay
Dur na jaaya karo dil tadap jaata hai
Tere hi khayalon me din guzar jaata hai
Aaj puchha hai dil ne ek sawal tumse
Kya dur rehker tumko bhi hamara khayal ata hai
Khamosh raat ke pehlu me sitare nahi hote,
In rukhi aankho me rangin nazare na hote.
Hum bhi na karte parwah,
Agar aap itne pyare na hote
.
Apke aane se zindagi kitni khubsoorat hai,
Dil me basayi hai jo woh apki hi surat hai,
Dur jaana nahi humse kabhi bhulker bhi,
Hume har kadam per aapki zarurat hai.
Badalna aata nahi humko mousmo ki tarah
Har ek roop main tera intezaar karte hain
Na tum samet sakogi jise qayamat tak
Kasam tumhari tumhe itna pyar karte hain.
If u touch n feel its desire.
If u touch n don’t feel its ignorance,
But u don’t touch n still feels its love.
Ajeeb si kashish hai aap me
Ki hum aap k khayalon me khoye rehte hai…
Ye soch kar k aap khawabo me aao ge
Hum din me bhi soya karte hai.
Kabhi kabhi in ankho main nami se hoti hai
Kabhi kabhi in honto pe hansi si hoti hai
Ae dost woh tumhi ho jisse meri zindgi, zindgi si hoti hai
Hum aap ko kabhi khoney nahin denge,
Juda hona chaha to bhi hone nahin denge,
Chandni raton mein aye gi meri yaad,
Meri yaad ke woh pal aap ko sone nahin denge.
Na tasveer hai tumahari jo didar kiya jaye,
Na tum pass ho jo pyar kiya jaye
Yeh kaun sa dard diya hai aap ne,
Na kuch kaha jaye,na tum bin raha jaye.
Har ahat ehesas hamara dilayegi
Har hawa kissa hamara sunayegi
Hum itni yaadein bhar denge
Na chahate hue bhi aapko yaad humari aayegi.
Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,
Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi….
Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,
Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,
Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum,
Jindgi bher ke liye so jayenge.
Badi muddat se chaha hai tumhe
Badi duaaon se paya hai tumhe
Thuje bhulane ka sochu bhi kaise,
Kismat ki lakiroon se churaya hai tumhe
Phool juda hai kato se,
Khushbu se nahi,
Hum juda hai unse,
Magar dil se nahi.
Royengi ye aankhein muskuraane ke baad,
Aayegi raat din dhal jaane ke baad,
Tum kabhi naa ruthnaa mujhse ae yaar,
Shayad ye zindagi hi na ruth jaaye,
Tumhare ruth jaane ke baad.
Nakaam si koshish kiya karte hai,
Hum hai ke unse pyar kiya karte hai.
Khuda ne taqdeer mein 1 tuta taara nahi likha,
Aur ek hum hai ke chand ki aarzu kiya karte hai!
Muskurane ki vajah kya jane hum
Hum to unki yaad ko tazaa karte hai.
Kambakth ye hasi bhi aisi hai ki
Unki judai mein bhi ro kar muskurati hai.
Jaam pe jaam peene se kya fayeda,
Raat guzri to utar jayegi,
Kisi ki aankhon se peeyo khuda ki kasam,
Umr saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.
Log kehte hain ke ishq itna mat karo,
Ke husn sar pe sawar ho jaaye,
Hum kehte hain ke ishq itna karo,
Ke patthar dil ko bhi tumse pyaar ho jaye……
Har dil ki dhadkan main koi baat hoti hai,
Har udas zindagi main kisi ki yaad hoti hai,
Tume pata ho ya na ho tumhari,
Har khushi ke piche humari duaa hoti hai.
Dil ne tera pyar per majbur mujh ko kardiya
Is jaha ki har khushi se dur mujh ko kardiya
Jis qadar chaha tha dil ne pass tere aane ko
Is qadar dunya ne tujh ko mujh se dur kardiya.
Jab hamko unse mohabbat thi
Unhe hamari mohabbat pe shak tha
Jab unhe ehsas hua hamari mohabbat ka
Tab hum par kisi aur ka hak tha
I love three things: the sun, the moon and you,
the sun for the day,
the moon for the night
and you forever.
1000 words I could say,
1000 wishes I could pray,
1000 miles legs could walk,
1000 sounds a mouth could talk,
1000 times i’ll b true,
1000 ways 2 say i luv u!
Hum woh nahi jo tum ko ghum main chhod de,
hum woh nahi joh tumse nata tod de,
hum woh hain ki agar teri saanse
ruk jae to tuj se apni sanse joor de.
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
Sms na karke dil tod diya, mobile dafna dena,
Kafan na mile to apna rumaal udaa dena.
Koi puche rog kya tha to nazre jhuka kar tu kanjusi bata dena
A bhai! Itna sannata kyon hai?
Kitne der se sms ki ghanti nahi baji.
Yeh sare network fuse hogaye
Ya mere dost hi kanjus hogaye
Hum hum hain, tum tum ho
Na hum kam hain
Na tum kam ho
To kis bat ka gam hai
SMS bhejte raho,
Tabhi tu lage ga k mobile wale mein dam hai.
Dinse raat hone ko aaai hai
Pata nahin ye kaisi judai hai
Parwah nahin karte wo apne dost ki
Na jane ye kaisi dosti nibhai hai
Eid ka chand mushkil se dikhta hai.
Lailla ko majnu mushkil se milta hai.
Hum to sms bhejte rehte hai par
Aajkal aapka sms mushkill se milta hai
Keep the smile,
Leave the tear,
Think of joy,
Forget the fear ,
Hold the laugh,
Leave the pain,
Be jouyous till i sms again.
Chahane se har baat nahi hoti,
Thode se andhere se raat nahi hoti…..
Jinhe hum jaan se jyada chahte hai,
Unse har roz mulakat nahi hoti…..
Durr kahin wadi main rahta hai woh!
Har lamha khayal main rahta hai woh!
Kaisa hai woh kis haal main hai woh!
Dil ka har sawal main rahta hai woh!
Duniya mein koi kisi ke liye kuch nahi karta
Marne wale ke saath har koi nahi marta
Arey… Marne ki baat to door rahi
Yahan to zindgi hai phir bhi koi yaad nahi karta
Tera naam bhi usme zarur aayega,
Agar ye padkar bhi tune reply nahi kiya,
To pehla prize bhi tujhe mil jaayega
Darr-darr bhatkate hain armaan ki tarha,
Har koi humse milta hai anjaan ki tarha,
In dosto se call ki kya aas karen,
Ye to SMS bhi karte hain ehsaan ki tarha
Zid apni na chhodi
Aur pyar bhara dil tod diya
Kuchh paiso k liye zaalim
Tumne sms karna chhod diya
Qayamat tak tujhe yaad karenge,
Teri har baat par aitbaar karenge,
Tujhe SMS karne ko to nahi kahenge,
Par phir bhi tere SMS ka intezar karenge
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

Consumer friendly measures taken by TRAI

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 13th, 2007

TELECOM REGULATORY AUTHORITY OF INDIA (TRAI)

THE AUTHORITY COMMITS ITSELF TO PROTECT THE INTERESTS OF CONSUMERS

Consumer friendly measures taken by TRAI:

Tariff related issues:

• The service provider should inform the customer within a week of activation of service the complete tariff plan and should also convey any changes to any item of tariff.

• The service provider cannot increase tariff on any item within 6 months of enrolment in a tariff plan.

• The customer is free to move from one tariff plan to another without paying any fee for migration.

• Hike in any tariff item is prohibited in tariff plans with prescribed period of validity of more than 6 months including lifetime validity or unlimited validity involving upfront payment.

• Even if the talk time value has exhausted, the pre-paid customers should get all services, which do not affect “talk time value”, like incoming calls/SMS etc during the entire validity period.

• Prepaid customer’s unused balance is to be carried forward if recharged during the grace period specified for the purpose.

• Fixed line and Broadband customers to be given rental rebate for faults pending beyond 3 days.

• Security deposits are to be refunded after adjustment of dues within 60 days, failing which interest has to be paid @10% per annum for the delay.

• Pre-paid customers can be charged for roaming, only if one chooses to make or receive a call while roaming and customers should be informed about this through SMS whenever one roams into another service area.

• A Regulation has been notified for the purpose of laying down code of practice for metering and billing accuracy, aimed at bringing transparency and minimize the incidence of billing complaints

• A Regulation has been notified on the quality of service of broadband services, which shall be effective from 1st January 2007.

Value Added Services:

• No chargeable value added service shall be provided to a customer without his explicit consent. 

• The subscriber for international roaming can opt a particular ring back tone from their service provider to avoid unwanted/unimportant calls by indicating message to the calling party in the ring back tone about his/her international roaming status.

Complaint Redressal Mechanism:

• Service Providers to appoint Nodal Officers in different service areas to deal with complaints

• All service requests/complaints made to the customer care helpline shall be assigned a unique docket number and communicated to the customer.

• In the event of a request for termination of services, bills to be raised after adjustment of security deposit.

Conditional Access System (CAS) for Cable TV Services

• The salient features of CAS notified in select areas of Chennai, Mumbai, Delhi and Kolkata are:-

  • Right to choose individual pay channels;
  • Bouquets of pay channels optional;
  • Rates of pay channels per month (excluding taxes not to exceed Rs.5/-per subscriber;
  • Free to Air (FTA) channels to cost Rs.77/-(excluding taxes) for a minimum of 30 channels;
  • Set Top Box (STB) to be made available on rent

• The QoS Regulation on CAS provides for:-

  • Time frame for connection / reconnection, repairs, billing complaints etc.
  • Connection within 02 days of completion of formalities.
  • Rebate for delay in activation of STB beyond 2 working days @ Rs.15/day for  first five days and Rs.10/day thereafter.
  • All complaints to be responded / attended within 08 hours.
  • Redressal of billing complaints within 07 days of notice.

The details of the above are available on TRAI’s website
http://www.trai.gov.in/trai/upload/pressreleases/32/pre/dec05.pdf

And the Common Charter of Telecom Services is available at
http://www.trai.gov.in/citizen%20charter/comm_charter16mar2006.pdf

Heights of Orkut

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 6th, 2007

Heights of Orkut
HEIGHT OF ISOLATION:?
Two persons sitting side by side using scraps to communicate with each other.
HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:?
Two persons fighting through scraps.
HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:??
Receiving no scraps for a week.
HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:?
The scrap server being down.
HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love scrap and doing a ‘Send All.
HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT:?
A person sending scraps to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.
HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:?
A person sending scrap to himself.
HEIGTHT OF EXPECTATION:?
Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match .
HEIGHT OF REPETITION:?
Forwarding an scrap to someone and receiving the same scrap forwarded back to you By some one in the receiving chain.
HEIGHT OF BROWSING:?
U are swimming in the water tank and shout “F1 F1 F1?” instead of shouting “HELP” when you are unable to swim
HEIGHT OF MY DOSTI:
I always scrap, you don’t
HEIGHT OF HAVING NO WORK:
Reading such scrap

Third wish

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 6th, 2007

A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.

“And what will your third wish be?”

The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”

“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.”

“Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I’ve always wanted to understand women. I’d love to know what’s going on inside their heads.”

“Sheesh! I wish you’d make up your mind,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, “That was your first wish, too!”

TOP 10 stupid questions and their answers

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 6th, 2007

Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations :

  1. At the movies, when you meet acquaintances/friends…
    Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
    Answer:- Don’t you know, I sell tickets in black over here…
  2. In the bus, a heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
    Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
    Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.
  3. At a funeral, one of the teary-eyed people ask…
    Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
    Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
  4. At a restaurant, when you ask the waiter
    Stupid Question:- Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
    Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
  5. At a family get-together, when some distant aunt meets you after years
    Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
    Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
  6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
    Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
    Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout…it’s just the money.
  7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
    Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
    Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.
  8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
    Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
    Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding……
  9. At the dentist, when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
    Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
    Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
  10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks…
    Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
    Answer:- Gosh, it’s a miracle ………..it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!

NGO’s in Kanjur Marg

Posted by Santosh Mishra on January 4th, 2007

NGO’s in Kanjur Marg

Isha Prem
Kanjur Marg (E)
Kanjur Village
Bhandup
Mumbai – 400048
Karmayogi: Sister Vinita
Tel: 25783366
Notes: Free shelter, food, clothing, education according to their interest & ability. Higher studies, charitable activities to the needy and suffering in the village of Kanjur. Medium of instruction is English. Capacity 15 girls (mini home)

Vatsalay Trust Bombay
Vatsalya Trust
Plot No.1285, Near Kanjur Marg Police Station,
Kanjur Marg (East),
Mumbai 400042, Maharashtra
Tel: 022-25782958, 25794798
E-mail: vatsalyatrustmumbai@vsnl.net
Notes: This trust is authorized by the Government to accept destitute deserted children. The children are looked after and given on adoption. All facilities offered to the children are free of charge.